I've finished the first draft of 'Level Crossing'. I took a break, if you can call it that, for one day before I began the editing process. In the past this would be a dust up for grammar, structure and form. My primary review would be to double check myself to make sure that I had said what I more or less had intended. Satisfied, it would be put between covers and sent to my publisher. If there was a rationalization there were two. I would follow Duke Ellington's creed: when it is done, it is done; just let it go. The other, that I am in a zone and get back to work before I lose it.
Before this story even began I had decided that this time I would work the project to a polished product before the publisher sent back his notes. In fact it had occurred to me that I might not even shop this one. Just write it because I could and perhaps for my own satisfaction. That I had struggled to come up with a consistent thread or idea bothered me and it took the better part of five months for anything to take shape in my head. Finally though I found something and tried to follow it to it's logical conclusion.
I hated my structure. First person narrative is so arrogant and I suppose this discomfort came from the knowledge that I am not that writer. That may suggest 'Yet' or even 'Never'. It is a terrible weight to carry around your neck when you are trying to be a well of creative thought. For this reason alone I suspected the editing would be difficult and I would second guess myself at every opportunity.
That much is true. My critique so far has been in two stages. First pass I separated all of the dialogue just keeping the paragraph before and immediately after the quotation marks. Smart I thought, it will give me context. My intent, to see if the dialogue was strong enough to carry the story. Second pass was to isolate just the narrative; how strong was my prose. Brutal assessment tactics and when I shared this strategy with a couple of the writer's groups I belong to they thought I was brave and terribly clever. Within a couple of days I had trimmed thirty thousand words off the manuscript.
In edit this is not necessarily tragic. There is a strong belief amongst writers that from the reduction would come other threads that needed to be developed and the word count would return. Akin to trimming a tree so it can grow back. Unfortunately while reviewing the dialogue and then the narrative and then back to the dialogue, I find I don't like it. Worse, it might be horrible. I recognize I am in a vulnerable stage and I should not make a brash move. Editing is like that.
So I am idling trying to decide or forget just long enough so that I can find an informed objectivity.. While I am questioning almost all aspects of the story I am finding strength on a few fronts. My principal ideas are valid, fresh and accurate. I accomplished what I set out to do. My observations are deep and insightful bordering on revealing. It is ahead of the curve. What remains is the notion that I just don't like the story and that doesn't mean it isn't true or important.
When I look for validation and confirmation of my ideas I turn to traditional media outlets, analyze society trends as I see them and the spooky truth, I watch for symbols in my every day life. I know/follow/listen to probably a thousand other writers all in more or less in the same boat. Recently published or trying to and in the middle of marketing and branding themselves and/or their books. These people are playwrights and novelists and come from all walks of life and the four corners of the globe. And I nailed it.
Genres, degree of fame, measures of success and where this industry is going. Now all I have to do is remember that while I am rewriting the whole damn thing.
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