This afternoon the manuscript progressed to a possible ending which I have chosen to ignore. The thought is that there may be a dozen or so pages left lingering in the back of my brain unsure how to come out. So I will let it breathe for a little while and see if I am dreaming or not. The book is a surprise to me considering it took so long to find rhythm and a sense of self. I wandered everywhere mostly leaving no stone unturned. When you dig that deep you always feel that you have exposed yourself beyond a reasonable comfort level and what remains is weak and vulnerable.
This past week I was working with Jazz FM as they prepare for what will be their formal 'Spring Campaign' to raise operating capital for another season. I was talking music and programming with a listener who at one point asked me if I was still in the industry. I confessed I was a writer. The listener invoked an old Hemingway quote about the writing profession being the loneliest in the world. "Yes" I agreed "but those moments in your head when you hit that one long note make it all worthwhile." He liked that and so did I, having no idea where it came from just that it was true. That's where 'Jelly Roll' stepped in. We started talking about Fats Waller and Morton and what jazz is and what it is not. I overheard someone complaining that Diana Krall was not Jazz and someone else that the morning show was not up to snuff.
I looked over to Joanne Clark who was sitting beside me. We had just finished discussing jazz as a maturation of listening skills. She still listens to Psychedelic Sundays occasionally when she is feeling wistful. Which of course got me to thinking about Christie Wills and The Beaumont Studio back in Vancouver. One thing leads to another so Jude Kusnierz was not far behind. It is hard to imagine that I was ever part of that scene and now it seems equally impossible that I was not there sooner.
The net, net in this line of reasoning is that we are where we should be, it is only that our ETA has changed.
